You

You could be anyone
   But you were you.
You could have picked anyone
   But you picked me.
You could have gone anywhere
   But you chose to stay and fight
We could have given up the first time
   But something held us back
We could have picked on each other's flaws
   But tongues were simply twisted
We could have stayed mad all day
   But love's just not that simple.

You forget the times - they were years ago
   When I was not the strong one
You forget the moments - they seem so far
   When I needed to be held up
You forget the days we spent apart
    I could tell you every date
You forget the anger and frustration of mine
    When you had to deflect all my pain
You forget when I was selfish
     To be fair I try to forget too
You forget because the years have passed
     But your pain is so new.

I seem strong because I've been there, love
     But this is foreign to you.
I seem smart because I know what to say
     But it's only what I wanted to hear
I seem selfless because I give you my all
     But you can't see I don't have a choice
You feel selfish, a burden, chaos in my wake
      But you don't understand how it's simply the opposite

You're a light in my darkness
A flame that never burns out
You're a hand in the river
My saving grace from drowning
You're my grounding weight
The one who keeps my head level
You're the man that I love
Because our love has made me better.

Stranger's Funeral

What is a life of a man not known?
     How tormented a feeling
           Fleeting and fearing
             Wonder and horror untold?

What life is a breath on still lips?
       Cold, motionless, frozen
           A smile forever untaken
              A kiss to the shadows
                 Taste of the unknown?

What is sorrow when not truly felt?
      Is it empty and fraudulent
         Well thought and not executed
              Softly spoken and not received?

What is life when death's door passes over?
       Is it scary in its darkness
          Warm with its smothering embrace
              Or neither in its ineptitude?

How still one must lie, how softly we speak
   When staring a death's eye and shedding a tear
      For a person so close and sometimes so far
         The end is coming fast.

Hard

It's hard for me to tell you.
Because you'll only want to help.
And we both know that you can't.
Sometimes I can't help myself.

Sometimes I fall into this place where I want to quit.
Recently it's where I've been living.
And it seems so strange.
Strange to hear it this way.
From a person who seemed
So happy and together just moments ago.

It's easy to play games for the crowd.
But you are not the crowd.
You are my private sector,
My confidant,
My trustee.

Yet by not telling you,
I've built this brick wall between us.
Accidentally.
I do not want it there.
But I'm afraid of what you will say when it is gone.
And you see that I'm not as strong as you thought.
Not at all.

Frustrating

I notice you
Noticing
And you don't know
That it kills me
Missing
Out on those moments
Watching
Them pass by
And wanting
Wanting. Wanting. Wanting.
To be a part of
It all
But watching from the
Outside
Just isn't the same
As being immersed
In the real thing
And it kills me
But you will
Never know
Because
It's just not a
Part of your
Life

IT

Instead it's about it.
Just about it.
Because it is something I can't stop thinking about.
It is something that has taken over my brain.
I thought it didn't exist.
It was a myth.
It was stupid.

And then it happened to me.
And it was everything I thought it would be.
Except different.
But the same.

You see, it isn't really something you can control.
It just comes.
In this exponential torrential downpour.
And takes over your every thought.
Your brain is no longer your brain.
It's its brain.
But you still can think.

But no matter how hard you try, it is still there.
At the forefront of your mind.
Scratching at the front door.
Reminding you that it is not going anywhere.
And you are somehow calm in the thought.
Something just took over your life, your body.
But you just shrug and continue on.

It is a powerful thing.
It gives your heart arrhythmias.
It puts insects in your stomach.
It can even cause excitement so high that you faint.
It causes speech impediments.
It makes you excessively perspire.

And yet you crave it.
You long for them.
The one that gave you it.
And it makes no logical sense.
The time between you and them could be days.
It makes it feel like minutes.
The time spent apart feels like ages.

It is a powerful thing.

Places

Safe and secure and stable
Longing for peace in conflict
Looking in all of the wrong places

Going to the directory
Not absorbing the language
Looking in all of the wrong places

Following the crowd to a crowded room
Drinking the drinks
Looking for love in all the wrong places.

Year

And the moment gave to the cadence
And the hush fell into the silence
And the gravity befell the brevity of the call.

The glamour faded quickly
The audacity slipped away
The quiet acquiesced for a day.

And the day for a year turned a second
While the birds cried for hours not a tear
And the last words on lips laid unspoken
This year, this year, granted wishes, this year.