Hard

It's hard for me to tell you.
Because you'll only want to help.
And we both know that you can't.
Sometimes I can't help myself.

Sometimes I fall into this place where I want to quit.
Recently it's where I've been living.
And it seems so strange.
Strange to hear it this way.
From a person who seemed
So happy and together just moments ago.

It's easy to play games for the crowd.
But you are not the crowd.
You are my private sector,
My confidant,
My trustee.

Yet by not telling you,
I've built this brick wall between us.
Accidentally.
I do not want it there.
But I'm afraid of what you will say when it is gone.
And you see that I'm not as strong as you thought.
Not at all.

Frustrating

I notice you
Noticing
And you don't know
That it kills me
Missing
Out on those moments
Watching
Them pass by
And wanting
Wanting. Wanting. Wanting.
To be a part of
It all
But watching from the
Outside
Just isn't the same
As being immersed
In the real thing
And it kills me
But you will
Never know
Because
It's just not a
Part of your
Life